Where are my slow runners at? I constantly search the blogosphere for some other awesome slow runners like me and come up empty-handed. I mean, there are plenty of A-mazing fasty pants blogging runners like AliOnTheRun and RunningOnWaffles (I like her, like in real life). But there are no other turtles out there like me.

Confession: I can’t, or at least have yet to master how to, run fast. I’ve run a ½ marathon before, and I’m doing the same one this October, but I’m sure it won’t be fast. Maybe it will be faster than last time, that’s really my only goal, but not like super fast. Really, on average, I can run an 11:20(ish) minute mile for 3 miles when I’m pushing myself. Usually though, I stop and walk a bit, because I have some knee issues and don’t want to get hurt again, plus I really need to get stronger. Then, as long as I take a little walk break, I can get back to that pace, but I’m already screwed for the walking. So, in reality, it ends up being like a 12 minute mile. And generally, I’m totally okay with that.

But I am a girl, and I do compare myself with other runners that I see on the internet. And let me tell you, they run FAST (compared to me). Sometimes it kind of gets me down and I get a little embarrassed about my times, such that I don’t really talk about it on the internet or have “friends” on Daily Mile.

You know what though, I am, and want to be even more so, proud of my accomplishments and that I am running. I don’t need to run a 10 minute mile to be awesome. I’m already pretty awesome. Even though I’m not really fast and have to take walk breaks sometimes, I have come a really long way. A couple years ago, there is no way that I could have run even a ¼ mile. Honestly, I probably got winded just walking up a flight of stairs. Also, in the past 2 years, since running, dancing, and finishing law school, I have lost a little over 40 pounds (also something that I’m not super comfortable talking about). I am really strong, motivated, and persistent. With walking breaks, I could run all day. [There would be a lot of walking breaks.] All things which I believe are awesome.

I know that I’m getting faster and stronger. Last year, at my first ½ marathon ever, my time was 2:38:03, which included a much needed bathroom break. This year, even though it will still be slow, I am going to kick that time’s ass. [And by “kick that time’s ass” - I will only promise to get under 2:30].

So, the moral of the story is: It’s totally okay if you aren’t the fastest runner or even if logistics would consider your average pace more of a jog, because you’re out doing it. And I am so proud of anyone out there who is making their lives better, one mile at time.

So, if you know any less than Roadrunner-esque runners, please, share them with me! I want to be their friends! But I will still always look to my speed demons for extra encouragement! =)

I’m doing this Game On diet thing with Gretchen, Kari, and Andrew…it’s mostly to win, I like winning. Anyway, per the Game, you have to do certain things to get points and then whoever has the most points wins a magical, amazing prize [still to be determined]. One of the things that earns points is eating 5 meals a day, with specific-ish things. These things always include a fat, like olive oil or nuts. Well, I don’t drink EVOO at work, so I got a bag of the most perfect combination of nuts anyone could dream. Dry Roasted Cashews, Almonds, and Pistachios with a hint of sea salt added. Ahhhh, pure deliciousness.

So, for the first part of the week, I enjoyed each delicious nom nom nuts. Then Wednesday afternoon the nut joy changed.

Wednesday
10:00 a.m. Snack Time, Nut Time! Yum. I put my nuts back in their rightful nut home.
12:00 pm: Lunch Time. I went home and made a delicious salad! Yumm. I also watched some Grey’s Anatomy on Limetime…because I love that shit.
1:30 pm: Back from Lunch
3:30 pm: Snack Time, Nu…..WHAT THE WHAT?!?!? WHERE ARE MY NUTS?

For the remainder of the afternoon I good-cop bad-copped a variety of workmates with varying levels of shadiness, but returned without any leads. I left at 5 pm, extremely disappointed and incredibly nutless.

Thursday morning I arrived at work extra early [which means really freaking early since I get to work nearly 45 minutes early every day] to investigate further. After some Harriet the Spy action I, again, came away nutless. Sigh. I was forced to go to the store twice that week to purchase another bag of ridiculously expensive and delicious nuts.

To this day, the mystery remains unsolved, but if you have information leading to the capture of the nut thief, a very generous $2 reward is available.

Yeah, Yeah, I know. I haven’t posted in like forever and a day. You know though, life gets in the way and I was feeling a little less sparkly, but I’m back. I promise to try and post at least once a week. Anyway. . .

I made this picture. But before painstakingly creating it, I searched the internet for a good couple hours [off and on, whilst multi-tasking -- don't judge]. I swear that I saw it somewhere, but then it was *Poof* gone! So, I had to make my own. [sad face]

BUT LOOK AT ITS BEAUTY! SKILL! TALENT! CREATIVITY! SPECTACULAR-OCITY! okay, I’m done.

So, it’s purpose is two-fold. First, and most obvious…well maybe not most obvious…I’m back. Unfortunately there are a ton of bitches in this world, some of them are like underhanded bitches and some of them are obvious biznatches. We all deal with both of them daily and we can’t let them get in the way of doing the the things we love to do, like writing. And I’m not going to let those biotches get in the way. Thus, I’m back bitches.

Secondly, and equally important, I FREAKING LOVE PRETTY LITTLE LIARS! I love the books by Sara Shephard — even though she doesn’t spell her name correctly. And I love the television show on ABC Family. “I’m back bitches” was a text message that “A” sent to the Pretty Little Liars. Oh that “A”, she’s so crazy…and in case you hadn’t heard, she’s back bitches. Oh yeah, and I’m back too.